Difficulty viewing this email? See it online at http://www.raspberrymoonst.com/newsletter2013-07.html

Raspberry Moon site navigation

Raspberry Moon Skin Therapy

July Newsletter
In This Issue:
:: Why We Should Forgive
:: The Forgiveness Project
:: Here, There, and Back Again
blue line

It is July and I am busy, busy in Quito and having a great time. (I am writing this ahead of time but I am sure this will be true!)

If you need to have a waxing touch up, call Tina at 864-421-9543. She will do most waxing services but no Brazilians! She uses a hard wax just like I do.

I will be available by email at RaspberryMoonST@gmail.com. I will not be answering any phone calls or returning any phone messages while I am gone! I will have limited access to a computer but I will check email messages when I can. Please be patient.

Me during my Yoga Challenge!As many of you know, I participated in the 90 day Winter Yoga Challenge with my favorite peeps at Greenville Yoga. I skidded in on 2 wheels but I managed to get in 45 classes in 90 days. I think that is more classes then I have taken in the last 8 years combined!

But the last class this whole forgiveness thing stuck in my head. (My monkey chatter head is what got me into this whole Yoga Challenge to begin with!) Hence my current path on forgiveness. So when you need an answer to something, where do you go? Google, of course! I also asked some of my friends and I thought I would share what I have learned.

I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness and how it works. I mean, when someone hurts you so bad that you can barely breathe and you don't understand what you could have done that was so terrible, how do you let that go? I have been struggling with that for over 2 years.

I hated He Who Shall Not Be Named. I wanted to hit him, I wanted to run him over with my car. I wanted to hurt him as much as his thoughtlessness hurt me. I knew that was mean and not the right way to be thinking. I didn't care. Between the pain and lack of sleep your mind just can't function right.

I know a lot of people that have gone through really rough times the last few years. Maybe this will help us all a little. Since I ended up having more to say than I thought I would (I know, shocker), I decided to break this up into 3 parts. Stay tuned for part 2 in August and part 3 in September!

You'll also want to mark your calendars with the things we have planned. It will be an amazing journey through healing, understanding, forgiveness and moving forward.

blue line

Why We Should Forgive

Everyone always says to forgive the person that caused you pain. It will help you on your journey to heal and you can release those emotions that are holding you back.

You can know something in your head all you want but until your heart is ready to release its survival death grip on you, you are kind of spinning your wheels.

Do you have someone that you need to forgive or is there a situation that you need to ask forgiveness for? I am writing this newsletter as I am on my own path to forgiveness. So maybe we can help each other on this path.

First things first, why in the heck should you forgive someone that hurt you or totally devastated you? I don't know about you but my thought was that if you forgave someone then you were saying that their behavior was acceptable, that it didn't matter that they hurt you.

NOT the route to forgivenessIn my family we don't talk much about "things" after they happen, we simply push it aside, deal and move on. Not that those memories aren't there and can get you fired up in a heartbeat. But ask forgiveness (or apologize - that is a whole other beast), no way.

There are three typical responses to being wronged: reciprocating with equal harm, avoiding the person, or seeking revenge. (I can relate to this. You don't even want to know some of the things that crossed my mind. It made me understand how people can become violent when they have been very hurt.)

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is a conscious decision to offer generosity and mercy that a person's actions do not deserve. And, paradoxically, by forgiving another, we benefit ourselves.

The growing body of research on forgiveness is finding that people who forgive are more likely than the general population to have:

  • Fewer episodes of depression
  • Higher self-esteem
  • More friends
  • Longer marriages
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Closer relationships
  • Fewer stress-related health issues
  • Better immune system function
  • Lower rates of heart disease
  • And they are more likely to be happy, serene, empathetic, hopeful, and agreeable.

"Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky calls forgiveness 'a shift in thinking' toward someone who has wronged you, 'such that your desire to harm that person has decreased and your desire to do him good (or to benefit your relationship) has increased.' Forgiveness, at a minimum, is a decision to let go of the desire for revenge and ill-will toward the person who wronged you. It may also include feelings of goodwill toward the other person. Forgiveness is also a natural resolution of the grief process, which is the necessary acknowledgment of pain and loss."

This was an easier way for me to look at forgiveness. Before, I viewed forgiveness as letting the other person walk all over you, and saying "that's ok, I know you didn't mean to be a big fat jerk head."

ForgivenessBut to say that forgiveness begins with a "shift in thinking," that is not saying that you get off the hook for being a jerk, but merely that I will let you live another day and not run you over with my truck, or slash your tires, or - well, you get the point.

In my family I don't ever remember anyone asking for forgiveness. You simply didn't talk about XYZ any more. I mean you could still be totally mad about something that happened 15 years ago, but if you don't talk about it then everything is fine.

From Understanding Forgiveness

From Liz at Greenville Yoga:

I discovered forgiveness, like yoga, is a daily practice. We strengthen forgiveness each time we practice it. I always know it is time to forgive when I hear myself saying... "If only he /she would do ________." "If only he/ she would say sorry for __________." Here are some notes from the workshop that I have led a few times on forgiveness. It is a topic that feels very near and dear to my heart.

What is forgiveness?

  • "Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a different past" Jack Kornfield
  • To pardon (not denial, forgetting or not having boundaries)
  • Cancellation of a penalty or debt
  • Resentment is long held anger or debts (lack of forgiveness)
  • Forgiveness can't repair the past, but it can repair your heart and mind
  • Forgiveness is like a muscle; we must continually practice (start with small daily things vs. the BIG hard things)

What / why self-forgiveness?

  • To pardon the self for its mistakes
  • Start each day forgiven - not carrying debts of yesterday into today
  • When we forgive ourselves we are able to forgive others more easily and stop seeing everyone with such critical eyes

Why forgiveness?

  • "Resentment is like eating poison and expecting the other person to die." Nelson Mandela
  • When we chose not to forgive we recreate hurts again and again; letting go allows us to live fully in the present
  • Mind & body are inseparable - when we chose not to forgive, this is stored in the body like "poison"
  • When we hold onto resentment, we hold this on a bodily level as well - manifests as chronic pain / illness
  • When we separate ourselves from our heart, we create a shield or a wall where there is no need for one
blue line

The Forgiveness Project

The Forgiveness ProjectIn my research, I came across this fabulous site called The Forgiveness Project. I just knew that I had to bring this to Greenville, so I contacted one of the coolest people that I know and shared my findings. Liz Delany of Greenville Yoga and I are so excited to bring to Greenville this amazing project!

Liz has been on her own path of forgiveness and has been studying and learning about forgiveness for the last 10 years. She has spent a decade studying with the head of the Sufi order, Max Strom, Buddhist teachers, and with several wonderful healers in the area. One of Liz's favorite mentors is Archbishop Desmond Tutu and he is involved with this project too.

We are so excited to bring The Forgiveness Project to Greenville and we hope that you find it as empowering, moving and healing as we have.

Since I celebrate 10 years in business all on my own, and Liz is celebrating 9 years of business, we are teaming up for our Anniversary Parties as well.

The whole month of September will be filled with events! I am writing to ask your help in several different ways.

First, here is what we are working on: The F Word exhibition

  • September 6th - We are hoping to have a space at First Friday at one of our Art Galleries to display "The F-word" art installation. We will let you know as soon as we have this confirmed.
  • September 7th - Joint Anniversary Celebration at Greenville Yoga at their Augusta Road location. There will be food, vendor tables, music, and a silent auction. The money raised will go towards bringing this exhibit to Greenville and any money left will be donated to a charity (we have not decided on which one yet).
  • Sept 14th or 15th - We will be having a speaker, discussion, and viewing a documentary on Forgiveness.
  • End of September - Liz will be teaching a 2 hour workshop on how you forgive and how to have yoga help you through this process.

We are really excited about this and think it is going to be super powerful. Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated!

Here is where we need help:

  • If you are interested in donating a silent auction item, please let me know. I would not need them until August but if you could let me know then I will put you on my list of awesomeness! ;)
  • If you know any performers that may want to perform 9/7 - music or dance, during the anniversary celebration and silent auction and kick-off of "the F word" - please pass this email along to them.
  • We will be creating a Facebook Event and would really love for you to share the event with your friends.
  • Share any of our newsletters or blog posts. Liz will be writing a series of blog posts that I'll be linking to on Facebook and the Raspberry Moon website.

We can't wait! Stay tuned for more info as we have it.

With Love,
Liz and Nicole

blue line

Here, There, and Back Again

If for any reason you are unable to make your appointment please call me 24 hours in advance so I may offer another client your time. Take a minute to add me to your phone - 864-271-2710, then I will always be at your fingertips!

Remember this is NOT my texting number. If you would prefer to text me just let me know and I will be happy to give you my cell number.

Gift Certificate reminder - You can still buy that perfect Raspberry Moon Facial Gift Certificate while I am gone, just go to www.RaspberryMoonST.com, click on the Gift Certificate button and simply follow the directions.

This summer will be very busy, I am gone after June 29th and returning to work August 5th. Please plan accordingly! I will be in Ecuador getting my Teaching English as a Second Language Certification through www.English-ForLife.com.

Bubbles

Copyright ©2013, Raspberry Moon Skin Therapy. All Rights Reserved. 864.271.2710